Article By: RelationshipRules.com
You might’ve heard phrases such as “you’re too controlling all the time” or “give me some space, will ya?”, & this goes to all the women out there who agree they’re too controlling towards their guy. t isn’t good for you or the relationship. You should fight the wars w/out weapons, in case of relationships. There’s nothing wrong w/having a distinctive sense of how things should be, but then again you should remember – you cannot control everything, come what may.
Here are some basic traits you can adopt to become less controlling of a girlfriend & an open-minded, upbeat & more lovable 1 instead:
(1) Don’t give in to paranoia. Each time your boyfriend gets a text or an email or an invitation to a party & so forth…do you think it would be reasonable to assume all of that’s coming from another woman? Will you check all his texts & emails searching for something that’s not even there? That sort of paranoia needs to be controlled by simply trusting your gut. You are w/this guy whom you know inside out. Somewhere in the back of your head, you know he isn’t 1 to cheat on you. Listen to that gut feeling instead of acting on paranoid feelings. There’s no use forming decisions feelings on temporary feelings anyway.
(2) Give him his space. Whether it is about your guy wanting to hang out w/friends or spend some alone time – give it to him. Sure, you would rather have him next to you watching a movie & eating pop-corn together & laughing like kids around Christmas presents. So how will you be less controlling in such a case? When it gets hard to let him have his space, which he rightly deserves, try to picture yourself in his shoes & understand that his solitude means as much to him as yours does to you. You must have your worries too, right? Wouldn’t you want some personal space to sort things out? Well, so does he. Don’t control what he does & where he goes 24/7 bc he deserves his space, all things given.
(3) Communicate w/him at all times. Life is harsh for everyone, in its own way. You never know what the other person might be going through. If you know you are a controlling girlfriend & there are issues you have w/your guy as to how things should be this & not that, just talk it out clearly w/him. Get to know his terms & make him know yours.
This might be the oldest relationship card in the game but honestly, open communication goes such a long way to develop a good relationship where you do not come off as a mean, controlling & impulsive girlfriend. You have an idea that things should go in this direction & when they don’t, you naturally want to control your guy so the relationship turns out as you wish it to be. But do not forget, he has a say in it too, yes? So better to sit & talk things out w/him rationally than let emotions get the best of you. It is only when you communicate w/your guy that you get a better glimpse of the kind of person he really is; what he likes, dislikes & so on.
(4) Don’t act on impulse. Sometimes your partner might just be working on making things turn out the way you want them to. It just takes time; all good things do. But if you see the few small changes in the start & conclude things aren’t going as you had planned & act on impulse…that form of control can breed some long-lasting cracks in your relationship. It might give your guy the impression that you don’t trust him, even when you do. So instead of acting on impulse in order to control the flow of things, just give it time & go w/the flow. Your patience will be valued indeed. See where your partner’s efforts go after all, he wouldn’t be doing that much if he didn’t know you would like it.
(5) Be accepting to change. Often times when you feel the urge to control things, there is an underlying fear of the unknown – the unknown that might happen when things don’t go your way. To eliminate that fear, you try to control your partner. Or there’s an alternative way. Think of how the change would be good for you, how it could bring some positive effects in your relationship. So be more accepting towards change & let go of your fear of the unknown.
View full article at: http://www.relrules.com/5-steps-to-stop-being-a-controlling-girlfriend/3/