Illuminati’s Tryouts & End Times

Post By: Albert Mascheroni

Illuminati Organization has begun holding open tryouts for even their scrawniest, least athletic fans to display their talents & potentially improve the team. It’s official, the Illuminati have an official website:

Even they know the end is nigh, except they believe they will overthrow God. When a team gets desperate enough, they hold open tryouts wanting to potentially improve the team & increase the team’s winning percentage.

God has warned me of such in my dreams. In my dreams, I’ve seen their tryouts, they are cold & calloused. But they will make you feel wanted, make you desire to be like them in exchange for your devout loyalty.

In my dream, I had a sponsor. I saw all of the other recruits fall out, but they made sure that I made it on 1 condition; that I speak to you no more & if I agreed to this, they would give me a citizen’s watch.

I said no. Slaves are made this way!

For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? – Matthew 16:26

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